filling my cup

Self-care is one of the most important parts of what I do. I admittedly believe in the saying, you can’t give from an empty cup. Lately writing and naps have been my savior, oh and also CAROL. Still I feel completely out of balance and stressed. I have developed a not so subtle twitch in my lip where I constantly bite back. It is incredibly frustrating and also very much so related to my stress level. Although I love what I do, if I am being honest, I have been feeling overwhelmed for quite some time.

Last night I had a conversation with my sister. She is struggling with a lot of emotional stress as of late and when I was talking to her I reminded myself of a time in my life that seems lightyears away, a time where I was as stuck and feeling as broken as she is now. It is difficult to see her like that and also to feel so disconnected because she is so oblivious to everything that I have experienced and how I so completely understand where she is and that feeling. It made me think about my needs and how much I really need to get back to taking care of myself. That may sound selfish, me talking about how my sister’s pain made me think of myself and my own, but it is really about seeing it sitting right in front of you, ripping apart a loved one, that brings it to your personal consciousness.

I advocated for myself today at work. I need a break and spring break is coming at the perfect time. I asked my boss to comp my overtime hours (since I don’t get overtime pay). We had a real conversation and I was honest when I said I need to try and strike a balance between this job and my sense of self. I need time to address the needs of my heart and soul as well as support my family to take the steps they need. I am excited to get back to therapy, to find an inner peace, a balance from the stress, and finally put this twitch to rest. ❤

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